Amsterdam was simply the tits. It was everything I’d hope for and much more.

Our trip was over Thanksgiving break from Thursday until Monday. A big group of us went: Moi, Lenny, Sarah, Cassie, Lori and Nick. We booked our rooms at Hotel Mozart (recommended because it’s super close to the center and their breakfast was delicious. Not recommended if you need a decent sized room. The rooms were small for the price you pay).

Thursday night, we wasted no time and went to our first coffeeshop. We bought some recommended baked goods, consumed them and explored what the center had to offer us.

Eating soup, baked goods, city center, eating bratwursts

Friday morning, we woke up super early, ate breakfast and went to this free tour Lenny’s friend Morgan had recommended called New Europe Amsterdam. The tour was informative yet hilarious. Some of my favorite explanations included:

  • Majority of the people who fall in the canals and die are British. Why? Because after a senza vergogna night (meaning getting super drunk and paying for a prostitute) they tend to pee right by the canal thus falling in.
  • The oldest prostitute is 85 years old and she has a two week waiting list.
  • Amsterdam is super tolerant of sexuality, religion and preferences.
  • Don’t take a picture of the prostitutes in their windows. They will come out, beat you and throw you in the canal (Seriously, we saw this happen, minus the guy being thrown into the canal).

Church, cute architecture, leaning houses

Awesome statutes I found throughout the city

Pretty skies, bicycle along the canal, view of the canal, Febo

Afterwards, we went to the Anne Frank house. I barely made it out of the house without crying for that poor little girl. The museum made it so that I felt like I was back in her time seeing the things she saw daily for years. Once we were done, we explored some more and bought our tickets to go on a pub crawl with New Europe Amsterdam. For €15, we got free entrances to 5 bars and at each bar you get a free drink plus free shots every 15-30 minutes. We danced the night away until we couldn’t anymore and returned back to our room.

Anne Frank house, canals, swans, pub crawl

Saturday, we switched to a hostel named International Budget Hostel. I don’t recommend this hostel because it’s €45 per person for a shitty bed, literally a shitty bed. Everyone was tired from the Pub Crawl the night before but not Lenny, Cassie and I. We bought some delicious baked goods and explored more of the city. We found more of the Red Light District, found the “I Amsterdam” sign, bought souvenirs and ate munchies like Febo and french fries with mayo and curry. Later that night we went to a sex show in the Red Light District. For €25 you get the show and 2 drinks (alcoholics and/or non-alcoholics). Child’s play, right? I don’t want to give away too many details but the show involved a banana, candle and lots and lots of nudity. It was a once in a lifetime experience, for sure.

I Amsterdam sign, Mouge Rouge sex show, baked goods, Vondelpark

Sunday was by far my favorite day. We got rental bikes at €5 for 4 hours at StarBikes. Riding bikes through Amsterdam brought me back to when I was a little girl and I used to race my little brother through the streets of Ocala. I received so much adrenaline and pure unadulterated joy from almost getting hit by a car, almost hitting a pedestrian (a lot) and almost always riding on the wrong side of the bike lane.

Moist!, riding bikes with tulips, Lenny waiting for the green light

Train station, windmill, riding bikes, love ♥

Amsterdam, in my opinion, is a big version of Disney World. Actually, it’s better than Disney World. It’s more like Universal Studios. Yep, it’s THAT awesome.

Amsterdam = Universal Studios

Categories: Netherlands, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

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